MPAA Rating: R
Director: James B. Rogers
Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Sean W. Scott, Eugene Levy
"American Pie 2" Video
Take American Pie and edit out all of the humor and originality and you're left with American Pie 2, a lame remake that dumps a shitload of unfunny material on the unsuspecting public. In fact, Pie 2 is more of a marketing plan than an actual film-a cynical, manipulative and successful attempt to rake in more cash off the first Pie's success. Lame is too good a word to describe this TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT.
I could tell that this movie was bound to totally suck from the abysmally contrived opening scene. It's the last day of the semester. Everyone's going home for the summer. Jim's parents arrive a little early to pick him up. Although Jim has not had any luck with any chicks during the entire year, for some reason on this particular afternoon he's managed to coax some sexy coed into bed with him. Remember, it's the middle of the afternoon on the last day of school and everyone's leaving for the summer. Of course, Jim's parents and the chick's parents show up about the same time at Jim's dorm room (which is opened by a kindly resident advisor) and find them in bed together. Fuckin' original, don't you agree?
The plot (such as it is) concerns the same brain-dead geeks from the original, although they've just finished one year of college and are renting a beach house for the summer. Jim (Jason Biggs) is the boring lead character, who is trying to get some sexual experience before Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), the foreign-exchange student, comes to visit him at the end of the summer. Jim, who reminds me a lot of Benjamin from The Graduate if Benjamin had a prefrontal lobotomy, spends a lot of time trying to get advice from the first (and only) chick he ever banged, the band camp nympho, Michelle, who admits to doing some very kinky things with her flute. Eugene Levy returns as Jim's meddling dad (humorous in the original; just annoying here). Then there's Oz (Chris Klein), who keeps trying to have some decent phone sex with his girlfriend, Heather (Mena Suvari), but, alas, he gets rudely interrupted at every attempt. Stifler (Sean William Scott), a third-rate Jim Carrey clone, tries to score with any woman with a heartbeat. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) pines after Stifler's mom. The "Sherminator" makes it with the foreign-exchange student ... you get the idea.
Here's a brief list of some of the rest of the "hilarious" material in Pie 2: Stifler gets pissed on during a keg party. He thinks he's getting sprayed with champagne. Jim superglues his hand to his pecker while jerking off to a porno flick titled Pussy Patrol. Two "lesbians" make the horny geeks get intimate with each other because they hope to see the two chicks go at it with a vibrator. The sexual exploits are broadcast all over town via CB radio! (For the record, this is the one and only time you'll actually see a fleeting glimpse of breasts in the entire flick.) The gang decides to have an end-of-summer bash, complete with kegs, music and dancing. There's a lot of obligatory beer drinking, music and dancing.
Frankly, I'd rather watch Nerds in Paradise one more time than sit through Pie 2 again. At least that film had one interesting character - yes I'm talking about none other than Booger (Curtis Armstrong), who learns how to be more disgusting from his mentor Snotty (actor unknown). If you're really desperate for a good "horny teen" flick, I strongly suggest Hardbodies [1984], which also takes place at a beach house but actually offers a few decent laughs, better looking women and more nudity.