Teamed with eccentric producer Jim Steinman (the guy to blame if you hate Meat Loaf's entire body of work), Bonnie Tyler hit it big with "Total Eclipse of the Heart," an overwrought, pretentious (see "Don't Pay the Ferryman review") but catchy ballad. Somehow this thing managed to skyrocket to the top of the charts in the U.S. and overseas.

The action takes place in this huge mansion. The fog machine's working overtime in this thing, folks. There's doves flying around, swinging chandeliers and candles everywhere. What's with all the school kids emitting those light beams from their eyes? How about the choreographed ninja routine and the team of gymnasts? How about the dudes trashing the dinner table? Why not throw some football players into the mix? It's all absolutely meaningless, totally over the top and one of the dumbest music videos of all time.

For trivia buffs, Bonnie Tyler's real name is Gaynor Hopkins. Do you think she would have ever scored a hit as Gaynor Hopkins? Very unlikely. If you were around in the summer of 1983, you heard this song on the radio about once every 10 minutes and MTV screened the video in an endless loop.

After a couple of failed collaborations with artists such as Welsh singer Shakin' Stevens and Todd Rundgren, and another hit for the soundtrack of Footloose, "Holding Out for a Hero" (also penned by Steinman), Tyler totally disappeared into obscurity... "Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart..."

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